I remember the pain,
The joy and fear,
That came with every
Slice and tear.
It brought me back
To my life.
All I had needed
Was the pain of a knife.
The fear was great,
I tried to think,
Yet in all my pain,
I could do naught but sink.
I gave up hope.
I didn't want to fight.
I wanted to stop
My search for a light.
Yet for a reason
I did remain
Alive and well,
Why I cannot explain.
The fear kept me back,
Stopping me from ending
My life and stopping
My will from bending.
I still fight,
As I always will,
Because I don't want my picture
Alone on the windowsill.
But the pain I remember,
I remember the joy,
But the fear reminded me
That the peace was just a decoy.